Techniques that Backfire

Communication behaviors that backfire include:

1. Raising my voice
   
2. Yelling
   
3. Saying “I’m the boss here”
   
4. Insisting on having the last word
   
5. Using tense body language, such as rigid posture or clenched hands
   
6. Using degrading, insulting, humiliating, or embarrassing put-downs
   
7. Using sarcasm
   
8. Attacking the student’s character
   
9. Acting superior
   
10. Using physical force
    
11. Drawing unrelated persons into the conflict
    
12. Having a double standard — making students do what I say, not what I do
    
13. Insisting that I am right
    
14. Preaching
    
15. Making assumptions
    
16. Backing the student into a corner
    
17. Pleading or bribing
    
18. Bringing up unrelated events
    
19. Generalizing about students by making remarks such as “All you kids are the same”
    
20. Making unsubstantiated accusations
    
21. Holding a grudge
    
22. Nagging
    
23. Throwing a temper tantrum
    
24. Mimicking the student
    
25. Making comparisons with siblings or other students
    
26. Commanding, demanding, dominating
    

Source: Randall Deich